Now that my kids are young adults living on their own, I’m an empty nester. Without the stress of daily caregiving, I have time to reflect on my parenting. There are, of course, many things I wish I’d done differently, but there are also occasions when I hit upon an aspect of my parenting that I feel good about. Raising kids who grew up to become compassionate adults is one of those things.
Unlike baking a cake, there’s no recipe or set of rules to follow that ensures your children grow up to be empathetic members of society. I found that volunteering is one way to give back, though. It has long been a part of my life, and I hoped it would be for my kids as well. Little did I know that a family vacation would put my child on a lifelong path of volunteering.
A house swap in Mexico
The summer my daughter Madeleine turned 12, we exchanged our apartment in New York City for a house in San Miguel de Allende, a beautiful, small city in the center of Mexico. The house was in a residential neighborhood next door to the Santa Julia Orphanage, where a few dozen girls, from toddlers to teens, lived under the supervision of nuns.
We didn’t know a soul in this small Mexican city. My lonely tween would wistfully watch the Santa Julia girls playing in their courtyard from the window of our temporary home. One afternoon, a few of the girls shyly called to her, asking if she could come and play. They spoke a bit of English and she spoke some Spanish; they were fascinated with her and she with them. The nuns invited Madeleine to come over for a daily playdate.
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By the time our month in Mexico was over, true friendships had formed. As the girls said goodbye, tears were shed by all. Madeleine was determined not to forget her new friends. When middle school started in September, she spearheaded a monthly bake sale, with the proceeds of all those cupcakes and brownies going to the Santa Julia Orphanage. She also helped start a pen pal program in conjunction with her middle school’s foreign language department, matching kids who were studying Spanish at her school with girls at Santa Julia who were studying English.
A ‘Reading Road Trip’ at Beaches Turks & Caicos
When Madeleine was in high school, we joined our extended family for a multigenerational vacation at one of the three Beaches Resorts in the Caribbean. What teenager wouldn’t enjoy staying at an all-inclusive family resort on postcard-perfect Grace Bay? Madeleine had just gotten her lifeguard certification and many of the activities at Beaches revolved around water, a match made in heaven.
One of my concerns was that because the property was all-inclusive, we’d never leave the magnetic comfort of the resort and would miss the opportunity to experience authentic local culture. However, one of the activities offered was a Reading Road Trip, where guests were invited to visit a local primary school and read to kids for a few hours. Madeleine was eager to participate. As a former pre-school teacher, this was right in my wheelhouse, too.
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We boarded a bus and were driven to the nearby Enid Capron Primary School, one of the Sandals Foundation’s adopted schools. The Sandals Foundation is this resort chain’s philanthropic arm, and supporting education and child development in the Caribbean is one of its core goals. Together, my daughter and I spent a memorable morning in a first-grade classroom reading Dr. Seuss books to a group of adorable kids.
A minimal time commitment provided us with a big payoff. Those smiles are still etched in our memories.
Tossing Genki Balls in Hawaii
Now my daughter is grown and lives across the country from me in Los Angeles. We recently met up in Honolulu for a mother-daughter getaway. I imagined we’d spend our precious time together at the beach and sightseeing, especially because we were staying at the new Renaissance Honolulu, located in the heart of downtown. With its fabulous swimming pools, wellness center, soothing spa, and delectable dining options, I was tempted to never leave the premises. My daughter had other plans.
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A team of local experts called Navigators were stationed in the lobby. Along with offering standard concierge services such as restaurant reservations, Navigators dig deeper and help guests find and organize a range of experiential offerings. Madeleine told the Navigators that the 2023 Maui fires drove home the urgency for a more sustainable Hawaii. She wanted to do something to acknowledge and positively impact Hawaii’s vulnerable environment during her brief visit.
The Navigators set us up to spend a morning with the innovative non-profit Genki Ala Wai Project at the Ala Wai Canal. Though this waterway looks like a Polynesian paradise, it has been plagued by urban runoff and pollution for decades. We joined a group of volunteers making and tossing Genki Balls into the canal. The size of a tennis ball, Genki Balls are made of cured mud, rice bran, water, and Effective Microorganism, which is a blend of beneficial bacteria and yeast.
It’s a simple solution to a big problem. When the Genki Balls sink to the canal floor, they start to decompose and digest layers of contaminants, debris, and sludge that has built up over generations. The Genki Ala Wai Project has successfully improved water quality and is on track to make the canal fishable and swimmable by 2026.
Volunteering at home or on vacation?
Of course, you can volunteer in your own backyard, too. Vacation volunteering could potentially encourage volunteering in your own community. For Madeleine, what started as voluntourism in Mexico continued into volunteering at home. She knew the Santa Julia girls personally and wanted to find a way to positively impact their lives once she returned home.
In my family’s case, it was often easier to volunteer when we were far from home, away from our hectic work and school schedules. It was also a firsthand way to learn about important issues that impact a specific place. These on-location experiences helped my daughter develop into a global citizen who understands that the world is a big, diverse, and very complex place.
