Halfway through our Trafalgar Costa Rica Nature Adventure tour, my 10-year-old daughter woke up, looked at me, and said, “I think this is the longest I’ve ever gone without hanging out with other kids.” She seemed curious rather than upset at the thought that she was the only child in this roving community of adults ranging from their late-20s to late 70s.
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As the only kid on our Costa Rica tour, my daughter Vivi had easily found her place among the adults in our group, so much so that I hadn’t thought through how strange it must have been for a child who, even in deep pandemic times, had always been surrounded by siblings and cousins, to suddenly find herself in adult world 24/7. When I asked her about it, she thought for a minute and then said, “I think it’s kinda cool. A little weird that there aren’t other kids around but everyone is really nice and we’re doing so much cool stuff.”
I didn’t originally intend to bring a 10-year-old on an all-adults tour to Costa Rica. We had been planning a big adventure, just the two of us, for years and knew that Costa Rica—with its amazing wildlife—would be just the right fit. We had signed up for Trafalgar’s family tour Monkeys, Jungles and Volcanoes, but when the tour date was canceled, we pivoted and signed up for the company’s adult-focused tour. She was so excited about the chance to see sloths that she didn’t hesitate before saying yes to this plan, even if it meant she might be the only kid on the tour.
And she was. At dinner the first night, as everyone went around and introduced themselves, I noticed people looking curiously at her as she waited her turn to speak. After dinner, people started coming up to say hello, first to her and then to me.
By the second day, I could see that there was a particular magic to this tour dynamic. Not only was it a great group that included honeymooners, retired State Department folks, and a pair of 20-something cousins who had won the trip on Wheel of Fortune, but Vivi’s presence naturally surfaced the grandparents and aspiring grandparents in the group (there were many), who would easily weave Vivi into conversations and whom I could see keeping a gently protective eye on her as we all adventured our way through Costa Rica, getting on and off small boats, going zip lining and hiking, and swimming.
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For me, it quickly began to feel like traveling with a big extended family. By the second day—when most people were still learning each other’s names—everyone already knew Vivi’s, and she theirs. Evenings were sweltering and many people in the group started meeting at the hotel pool after dinner, and she always received invitations to join (I tagged along too). After Vivi broke down briefly after being an incredibly good sport through two hours of ziplining through the driving rain in Monteverde Cloud Forest, our fellow traveler Marg sang a funny call-and-response song as we walked—it was just the thing Vivi needed right then and as a solo parent it was wonderful for me too to feel like I had backup if I needed it (which I did, in that moment).
Thinking about bringing your kid on a mostly adults tour? Here’s what to think about.
Make sure it’s the right tour
It’s always a good idea to make sure your kid is actually interested in the destination you’re heading to, but it’s especially important when you’re considering a not-family-specific tour.
The Costa Rica tour was a total home run for us because my daughter is wildlife obsessed and loves taking nature photography. The same was true for most of the tour group, which gave us all a shared language of nature, and made it easy for us all to participate whether we were 10 or 70.
Know your kid
Being the only child on an all-adults tour isn’t going to work for every kid. Being on a tour with mostly adults means there’s less time to run around and play, more sitting and listening, and sometimes activities geared far more to adults than kids.
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But for older kids who enjoy being around adults, and those who have longer attention spans, it can be a great fit. “Everyone is so kind to me and makes me feel included,” noted Vivi as she fell asleep one night.
If you can, find a guide with experience guiding families
Our guide, Victor Leiton, guided not only Trafalgar’s Costa Rica Nature Adventure but also the company’s family tour Monkeys, Jungles and Volcanoes. From the first day, I could see the ways in which he engaged Vivi while also doing an exemplary job gearing the tour to the adults—a sure sign of a guide who knows how to lead a family tour.
It’s not always possible to know the guide in advance, but in the booking process, you can often ask the tour company about the guides—and guides who work with families tend to have a little extra magic that’s worth seeking out if you’re traveling with kids.
Bring the tools you need to help your kid succeed
As a child, my daughter’s needs were a little different than the adults we traveled with, so to smooth our journey, we worked together in advance to make sure we brought the things that would help her get through moments that were trickier for her.
That meant we arrived with two quart-sized bags stuffed full of almonds, trail mix bars, dried fruit, and other easy snacks that she could eat anytime she needed them (she’s prone to hanger).
A camera was another tool that helped my 10-year-old stay engaged for longer. Especially on longer wildlife boat rides and hikes, having a camera in hand meant she was doing something besides just sitting or walking. She was framing scenes in her mind, zooming in on wildlife, and composing shots.
My best move of the whole trip was to download an audiobook that we listened to together on the longer travel days. It gave us something to look forward to and made the time pass more quickly, since we were both hooked on the story (it was the second book in Megan Whalen Turner’s The Thief series).
Because it was hot in Costa Rica, we also made sure her bathing suit was always ready to go, because there’s no reset quite like a dip in a cool pool before dinner to revive after a long day.
Remember that they’re young
There were moments—like an hour into a discussion of the history of the Monteverde Cloud Forest or two hours into a long bus ride—when I could see Vivi getting a little antsy. When I asked her about it later, she said “Sometimes I space out a little but overall it was interesting,” which told me that the problem wasn’t the activity so much as it was that she didn’t have an adult attention span because she was a kid.
Remembering that she was a kid and not a small adult, and also wanting to be respectful of the adults in the group who, for instance, continued to be riveted by a history discussion, I looked for middle grounds. Sometimes that meant slipping Vivi a napkin and a pen so she could doodle, on those long bus rides just letting her play a video game for longer, or handing over the camera and letting her wander around taking pictures. And of course making sure she got pool time every day to get some energy out and cool off.
Even though it was not a tour geared to kids, we’d both do it again in a heartbeat. Since it was a guided trip, we got the chance to learn alongside one another knowing that the details were taken care of and we could focus on the experience of being together and seeing this special place for the first time.
