I think there’s this tendency to do MORE when we travel because that’s how we’ve done it before. I’m a big-time optimizer and that’s how I’m conditioned when I travel, too. For years I could not relate to the idea of sitting down for your vacation, because otherwise how would you get to ~experience~ anything? I mean, in college, we used to say to each other: We can sleep when we’re dead! as a way to rally. And in my ‘20s I used to take red eyes Sunday night and take a cab from the airport to the office.
That is no longer how I travel, obviously, not least because the push to see and do everything can get kind of grueling. There’s Type 2 fun and then there’s wandering around a city in a semi-fugue state because you took a red eye to London and you have ONE DAY to see all the sights. (I do not remember seeing, in this order: The Tower of London, the Crown Jewels, or Buckingham Palace, though I do have pictorial evidence that I was, in fact, there.)
I theoretically took this picture, but I do not remember it. Props to my thumb for making an appearance.
Now, travel is less about inhabiting a completely new self and seeing every single thing you could possibly see in a city and more about…what’s going to be a good time?
I’m not the kind of parent that believes just because you have a kid means you “can’t” do fun stuff anymore. It just looks different. And I am very thankful for co-planners that help me remember that something like a 9 PM fireworks show just isn’t gonna work for a toddler afraid of loud noises. Or that trying to take a cooking class at 2 PM during naptime is also not going to work.
Here’s how I plan a day-by-day itinerary to a new place with the “happy toddler, happy family” idea in mind:
Instead of planning around attractions, plan around breaks.
This is the biggest shift for me personally. I used to go neighborhood by neighborhood through my guide book, picking out all the places I wanted to see and do, cross-reference that on Pinterest, and later Instagram, and group each thing by neighborhood. I’d leave time for “spontaneous wandering” but secretly (and not-so-secretly) push the group toward something that was on my list. Like, “Oh look, a bakery that is on every single list and has won a million awards, how did we get here??”
The slice of heaven that is the pionono, a small, cinnamon-spiced sponge cake from Granada, Spain.
Now I optimize for breaks. Back when we had a strict naptime schedule, that was almost easier, because I knew we could pull off morning nap on-the-go but not the afternoon one, so we’d have to either be back at the hotel or lying down on a lounge chair outside. Now we’re on the edge of one nap/no nap depending on toddler whimsy and so that part of the day is spent quiet, regardless.
I don’t mean forcing everyone into the darkness of the hotel room every day at 2 PM. Think of it more like downtime, less like a “break.” What I mean by breaks is times to sit down, cool off/warm up, or experience familiar things:
- Restaurants or coffee shops – especially if that restaurant is temperature controlled and very quiet/chill
- A show or movie – one of my favorite Disney “hacks” if you can’t get back to your room is to get your butt in an air-conditioned seat for a mid-afternoon show (Lion King at Animal Kingdom is my personal fave.)
- Stroller or backpack time – My toddler is anti-sitting still so this counts as quiet time for us, especially if we’re doing a calm outdoor walk/hike.
- And of course, hotel time/nap time.
The formula I use for a great toddler day, every day.
The way I think about my trips each day is: ATTRACTION —> FOOD —> PLAYGROUND —> BREAK —> REPEAT.
What I mean by this is: I pick one major attraction, whether it’s a museum, tour, or other “thing to do,” take a break with something snack-y or easy for the adults and that caters to kids, and then eat said sando while we’re running it out on the playground. Then, have something quieter/take a physical break, usually in the stroller, but sometimes back at the hotel.
For example, this is a few different days in Boston:
Does this work in a more attraction-heavy destination, like Disney? You bet. Part of what trips so many people up about planning a Disney trip is that it’s actually a TON of downtime for kids with waiting in line and being in the stroller, so you have to be really intentional about getting the wiggles out. For example, at EPCOT, we rope drop the Finding Nemo ride, play in the indoor playground at the Seas or walk over to the Moana-themed splash pad, and then grab a yummy snack at Sunshine Seasons bakery at the Land (and meet up with all the adults who went on big-ticket attraction Soarin’ there.)
Know when to hold ‘em and when to fold ‘em.
The other biggest change is knowing your kid and when you’re pushing them too far. I know plenty of parents who have kiddos that do just fine pushing bedtime or throwing naptime schedules out the window but phew, we are just not one of them, and frankly, I need the structure, too.
I am constantly telling myself to plan less, to do less, when it comes to our trips. The days that I plan nothing—the last big trip we did to the Caribbean I literally planned nothing, and we did the beach all day—those are the best days. A reminder for myself, honestly.
Thanks for being here.
Half of planning a great toddler-friendly trip is the destination. Some places just make it easy to have a good time, partially because they make it easy for everyone to have a good time (can you tell I’m really wishing we had planned a real spring break? Ha!)
But I think you can do a lot with any destination, as long as you’re willing to make a few compromises. Can you go to Paris and be okay with the idea that some of that time will be spent at a playground? (I mean, grabbing a jambon beurre to go may help ease the sting a little.) That’s the criteria I’m thinking of as I plan the next year.
Attraction—>Food—>Playground—>Break—>Repeat,
Kayla
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This post was originally published on Travel with Toddlers.Subscribe for more real-talk travel advice, toddler-friendly itineraries, and tried-and-true gear recommendations.
