I, like many writers, love a deadline. I will procrastinate until the last possible second on pretty much anything, and that includes packing. (I don’t procrastinate on travel planning, as that’s one of the radio channels that’s always on in my head.) Before you leave on a trip, though, there’s so much more than just “packing” that needs to be done in terms of the mental load. I mean, here’s my basic pre-flight checklist:
- Check final forecast and determine number of layers
- Wash all clothes that you know you want to bring
- Check first aid kit and toiletry kit and make sure everything is up to date
- Download kid-friendly movies/playlists on phone for emergencies
- Double check final booking items (if needed)
- Depending on where we’re going: Order groceries or make a meal plan to buy when we get there
- Somehow do MORE laundry because someone wore something that they need on the trip
- Put each item into suitcases!
Wow, I really was thinking that would be only three bullets just to illustrate what goes into packing but…that was a lot and I could keep going.
The mental load of traveling is not just packing
Much of this work falls to me, partially because the trip planning is under my umbrella in terms of our domestic load distribution, but partially because I like doing this stuff. Packing is happy for me, and so is trip prep, because it means we’re going on a trip! So I happily take on this load while my partner is handling plenty of other aspects of the trip (doing the bookings, budget, points hacking, etc etc.)
The thing is, packing is only one part of preparing to go on the trip. For me, there’s a whole host of other domestic tasks/mental load that comes with traveling with toddlers and that is: HOUSE PREP.
I am not, unfortunately, the kind of go-with-the-flow mama that just accepts that a chaotic/messy house is part of this season of life. That is an idea I aspire to but realistically can’t let myself get to. Toddlers whirl around and some days I feel like I’m just trying to put things back as fast as they dump everything out on the ground, and hopefully that is not the day we are also packing the car to leave for a week.
What I mean is, there’s the packing prep, and there’s the house prep, and those only sometimes overlap. One of the worst feelings is when you come home from a trip and you can feel the to-do list slapping you in the face, eliminating all of the relaxation and fun from your trip in one quick inhale.
How I prep the house before we leave: Week of
I want to put a big caveat here which is: This is 100% aspirational. Some trips I run out of time to do this. Some trips I do some of these things and not all of them. But this is the ideal pre-trip flow, starting a week out:
First, I take an assessment of the overall state of the house and figure out what needs to be cleaned/tidied that’s bigger than a last-minute touch up. Most of the time that’s easy as it falls into the regular cadence of chores and whatnot. It’s too late for any kind of deep cleaning or organizing work—this week, focus on what needs cleaning. I try to focus as much as possible on the two most relevant items for travel: Laundry and Tidying.
- Laundry: There is so much of it to do and I try as best I can to get everybody’s laundry done before we leave, so that there’s nothing left besides what’s in our suitcases when we come home.
- Tidying: There’s no better time for our current toy roster than right after we take a trip away from them, so I use this week to slowly pull out some toys and put them in storage. I don’t know how we always end up with so much stuff all over the house!! I say toys but truly anything that’s not in its place, I find a place for while I’m already digging into our storage areas for gear or suitcases.
Sometime during this week I make a big batch of an easy-to-freeze meal. We eat half and then I put half in the freezer to give myself some time before needing to go back out to the grocery store when we return. Examples would be any soup/stew, taco filling, meatballs, lasagna, enchiladas, lemon chicken. Something you know tastes like home.
At some point I return the library books that will be overdue when we leave and/or check out any travel-themed books related to our destination or activities we’ll be doing or seeing. I usually grab a fun read for myself, too.
Then, if there is time: I love going to Target or the Dollar Store and grabbing some last-minute “surprises” for the family under the guise of getting any last-minute toiletries or items we need. This is something my mom did growing up and I love continuing. I usually try to get some combination of a coloring book, a sticker book, a mini-builder toy (3+), and something small and fun for the hotel room, like these window clings or a toy car. As they say, Target will tell me what to get with this 🙂
How I prep the house before we leave: Day of
This is where the chaos starts. Generally, whether we’re doing a road trip or flying I try to have the car packed the night before, or at least laid out next to the door. That way all we have to put into the car are ourselves and our toiletry kits, theoretically. Somehow I am always dashing up and down the stairs fifty times to get things we forgot.
Then, the two tasks I do together with my partner:
- Clean out the fridge and anything that won’t last through the amount of time we’re gone, toss it
- Take out the trash at least from the kitchen, but if time around the whole house
With 15 minutes to go we start the “out the door” routine. This is trickier when I’m flying solo, but if I’ve got my partner with me they take point on my toddler, running them out on the driveway and wrestling shoes/jacket on while I frantically run upstairs and:
- Quickly tidy up the play area so if I walk through it with a bunch of suitcases I won’t step on a Lego and dramatically perish1
- Get all the dishes in the dishwasher and start it running
- Do a final sweep in the bedrooms and bathrooms for anything missing from toiletry kits or our suitcases—this is usually where I grab the most important stuffies for my toddler and a few goodnight books to come with us that I always forget.
- Set the alarm and then leave!
Phew! I always feel like confetti cannons should go off whenever we leave the house with a little one. It takes so much effort!
Thanks for being here.
Missing the days when my toddler was more portable!
Sometimes it takes a LOT to get out of the house. So much so that by the time you slump into the car, absolutely defeated, you’re only just starting a long travel day. Those are the times where I’m asking myself: Is this worth it?? Usually, I just need a snack and a little sunshine and I can say “yes, absolutely” again.
That’s especially true when we get home. There is nothing better than feeling refreshed and happy after a week of filling your cup with whatever it is you love most about travel—for me, that’s jam-packed days of DOING THINGS and eating delicious food and ideally being in or near a body of water. Coming home to a house that’s ready to welcome you back with open arms…that’s the best gift you can give your post-vacation self to beat the blues of coming back to your routine.
Because you know your toddler is just gonna wake up at 6:30am the next morning anyway, no matter how long that travel day was,
Kayla
If you liked this post, please consider supporting my work. I’m just a mom in the thick of the toddler years trying to create core memories for our whole family while minimizing meltdowns—I sincerely hope this helps you do the same.
This post was originally published on Travel with Toddlers. Subscribe for more real-talk travel advice, toddler-friendly itineraries, and tried-and-true gear recommendations.
