My brain likes to think that just because I plan something out methodically and in great detail it means that everything will go according to plan. That’s ridiculous, obviously, and yet every time something goes wrong on a trip I get surprised.
Scenes from winter in Bologna, after the best bolognese I’ve ever had.
There’s the mundane…flights delayed, missed connections, getting lost. There’s the general overstimulation that comes from hurtling in a moving vehicle for several hours while trying to entertain a tiny being who absolutely does not want to sit still. Then, there’s the scarier stuff—I’ll never forget a rainy weekend trip to Bologna, Italy, while studying abroad, where my friend and I got super spooked after a brazen pickpocket attempt and took literally the first train going in any direction out of the train station, and it took us hours to undo that mistake. (We were fine, luckily, all was well.)
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When I talk to other toddler parents for this newsletter, I like to focus on the positives. The best destinations, the best hotels, the best memories. But I also ask them what went wrong…and how to fix it. So consider this collection of very real talk that comes from countless interviews with parents and caregivers for the last year:
11 pieces of advice for when things go wrong while traveling with toddlers.
Meltdown? Out of snacks? Sick kiddo? You’re not alone, friends, and here’s how these parents and caregivers pivoted in the moment:
1. If things never go wrong while you’re traveling, you might not be doing it right.
Things are going to go wrong in life, no matter what. Kelly Schultz’s last two nights of a month-long biking trip in Germany, Switzerland, and France with her three small children went totally sideways because of the rules around taking bikes on the TGV:
“The TGV—which I had bought tickets for two months ahead of time—departed without us. We had to take the bikes back on the little shuttle bus to the Beançson train station, reassemble them, and get train tickets on a regional train to Lyon, and then another regional train to Paris. The whole ordeal got us into Paris at about 10 PM. Then, we had to ride to our hotel, which took at least 45 minutes.
I have to say, though, that riding through Paris at night was a definite silver lining of this whole debacle. I would never in a million years have planned to ride through Paris at night with my three small kids. It was a magical experience. We saw the Eiffel Tower sparkling, we rode up the Champs-Élysées the day after the Tour de France had ridden through while all of the bleachers were still there, and we got some great pictures. Having things go wrong is part of the adventure of it all. If things never go wrong while traveling, you might not be doing it right.” – Kelly Schultz
Read more of Kelly’s recs: How to Go Bike Touring with Toddlers
2. You’re going to forget something important.
Oh, if I had a dollar every time I forgot my own underwear or toothbrush…most of the time, it’s a fixable mistake. I lean on gear a bit more than I should and the longer I’ve been a mom the more I realize how little you really need.
“We are constantly accidentally leaving the house without diapers. We did have a situation at the Ritz-Carleton when our son pooped in his swim diaper, managed to get poop on the pool towel while my husband was changing him, and while we were profusely apologizing the hotel staff they kindly told us it was not a big deal and to just throw the towel away. It was fine! Embarrassing but totally fine.” – Julie Bogen, interview coming soon
3. And you’re going to go off-schedule.
This was one of the hardest lessons for me to learn personally—I was obsessive over my then-baby’s sleep schedule and would stress so much about wake windows and whether they needed to eat…I’m still a big enforcer of routine when we travel but yeah, you’re going to get off schedule at some point for sure!
“On a road trip to and from North Carolina…we bit off more than we could chew driving wise one of the days…resulting in lots of baby screams and two very stressed and overstimulated parents. Looking back I would have planned a stop much sooner. That was definitely a pre baby travel planning move, but it also caused me lots of the stress as I panicked about his schedule. If I could go back I’d tell that new mama to not worry so much. You’ll get through it…and the memories were SO worth it!” – Paris Athenian, interview coming soon
4. You don’t always know what you don’t know.
Sometimes you make an honest mistake, like Amanda Kellner Klein did in Spain with carseat regulations:
“Having to listening to my toddler scream “But I want to go to France!!!” at the top of her lungs as our bus pulled away without us was the worst. We had arrived at the bus station San Sebastián to take a day trip to Biarritz, only to be denied boarding because we did not bring a car seat for the baby. In retrospect, it was entirely fair that they denied us; we had just planned to wear the baby in the carrier as we would on any city bus.
We recovered by pivoting to a beach day and renting a car on a different day to drive to Biarritz. Initially, we wanted to avoid the logistics and expense of renting a car on this trip, but you simply cannot be twelve miles from the French border and not go! In that moment, I cursed myself for overlooking a seemingly obvious logistical detail. Now, I would tell myself that getting our newly minted family of four from California to Spain was a feat in and of itself, and something was bound to go off plan. If anything, I now have a sense of confidence from figuring out such a curveball in real time on the trip.” – Amanda Kellner Klein, interview coming soon
5. …but don’t make an important decision in the middle of the night.
Style influencer Carly Riordan had that all-too-relatable feeling of just wanting to pack up and go home when things aren’t going well. (I’ve been there myself, when my partner ended up driving around the White Mountains at 3 AM just to get my toddler to sleep because we forgot the pacifier. 🤦🏼♀️)
“One summer, it was so hot and we were staying in a house with no air conditioning. I was breastfeeding and just feeling horrible myself and the baby was feeling horrible. At 11pm one night, we couldn’t sleep, the baby was crying and I started packing everything up to make the five hour drive home in the middle of the night. My husband talked me off the ledge eventually, convincing me it wasn’t safe to drive in the middle of the night. I had the pack n’ play all closed and packed up and everything!” – Carly Riordan
Read more of Carly’s recs: How to Bring “Chill Mom” Energy Traveling
6. Give yourself flexibility in your itinerary with points and insurance ahead of time.
There’s always something that can go wrong…but you can prepare more concretely for those things to happen.
“By far the worst experience we had traveling was when our son was diagnosed with a staph infection one hour before leaving on a one month trip to Italy. Luckily, points actually saved us, as did our travel insurance annual plan, and after he was discharged from the hospital a week later, we were able to shift things around and make most of the trip still happen. Points create a ton of flexibility.” – Rachel Lipson | The Point
Read more of Rachel’s tips: How to Travel with Toddlers on Points and Miles
7. Plan to do less than you think.
Sometimes when I’m planning a trip for our family I kind of forget the limitations that come with having a little one in tow and just plan it like I normally would…and then I have to pull back, and pull back again. Case in point from Kaitlin Solimine:
“This past summer, when we decided to road trip around Europe with three little kids in a car, I didn’t think through that they had to sit next to each other for 6-12 hours. I should have broken up the trip a bit more or just foregone some of the travel itinerary. The long drives were just too much, especially when there was an accident ahead of us that had us stuck on a highway in the Netherlands for three hours without moving.” – Kaitlin Solimine
Read more of Kaitlin’s recs: How to Find the Right Trips for Multiples
Matthew Buccelli experienced something similar on a recent trip to the south of France:
“Our destination was lovely, we had some really nice moments, but every day definitely had its rough patches. Our kids were pretty overstimulated the whole time, and the basic comings and goings of each day really took a lot out of my partner and me. And that’s before we could even get to the stuff we wanted to be doing, like playing with our kids and having fun as a family. I think we’ll probably try to reflect on this trip and think about what kind of travel mode might suit us all better next time. For now, I think it’s important to accept that it wasn’t great, take away what we can, and live to travel another day.” – Matthew Buccelli
Read more of Matt’s recs here: Why You Should Travel During the Baby Year
8. It’s okay to admit sometimes that it’s too much.
Going off schedule can be hard on you and on your toddler…and sometimes, it can just be Too Much. It’s okay to admit that and move on—and know that doing something hard is always worth trying.
“I took my son on a short haul trip in Europe when he was about 11 months old, and it did not go well. My nervous system was shredded, and I didn’t enjoy it. The idea that I could be this easy-breezy mom traveling with her son all over the world was once very appealing to me. But I quickly realized I cannot do that and enjoy myself at the same time. This trip was ill-fated in that everything went wrong: My kid didn’t sleep through the night, my husband didn’t come with us, I didn’t have the right stuff, my kid got sick halfway through…It was just too much. I ended up going home a night early because I couldn’t take it anymore. I would go back and tell myself that it’s okay to admit you bit off more than you can chew.
Since then, we’ve had a pretty hard rule about travel with our kid: We’re only going through the strife of traveling with a baby or toddler if we have help at the other end. So far, in his life, we’ve done two trips to the USA to see my family, and my parents have been waiting for us on the other end with a fully optimized grandparent setup.” – Rosie Spinks, interview coming soon
9. There’s always a solution.
In the moment it can feel like what are we gonna do? But if you take a deep breath you’ll find a way out:
“Once, our flights were delayed so badly that it took us 24 hours to get somewhere that should have taken eight. Our final destination was a two-and-a-half-hour drive from the airport but when we finally landed, it was the middle of the night and the rental car counter had already closed. We had to take a late-night unexpected taxi but I had checked the car seat…and the airline also lost our bags. Needless to say, it was not a great experience all around.
But the airline gave us a loaner car seat to use for the week, a voucher for the taxi, and American Express worked wonders to refund our rental car costs. In the end, we were exhausted without clean clothes when we arrived but at least we were able to leave the airport! If I had to go back, I would have told myself there’s always a solution.” – Harmony Walton
Read more of Harmony’s recs: On Quality vs. Quantity
10. You can prepare, but a meltdown will probably happen anyway.
I always joke that I’m the first of my family to meltdown, usually, but truly, you can prepare for anything and still, your toddler is gonna be a toddler no matter where you are in the world.
“First, let’s normalize it: meltdown in the middle of the aquarium? Been there. Screaming in the airport security line? Oh yes. Travel can push all of a toddler’s buttons. There’s fatigue, hunger, overstimulation, being off routine…meltdowns are just part of the package sometimes. I’ve found that keeping a few comfort items—a stuffed animal or a fidget toy, for example—in a carry-on backpack, taking breaks from the noise when possible by finding a quiet spot for a reset, and narrating what’s happening to help them feel grounded can help. And if the meltdown happens anyway? Deep breath. Offer connection and remember you’re not the only parent with a toddler melting down in public today!” – Christin from Elevate Toddler Play
Read more of Christin’s recs: How to Use Play to Prep Your Toddler’s Next Trip
Sometimes it’s just a lot for their little bodies!
“We were traveling with our then-three-month-old from Marquette to Nashville, Tennessee, and we stopped halfway in Bloomington, Indiana, to visit with lots of old friends. I wore her a lot when she was tiny, and she seemed to be doing great, napping on and off. When we got back to the hotel room, she had a complete meltdown. I’m sure she was overstimulated and exhausted and she let us have it. We panicked, thinking she was sick or something, but she eventually calmed down and went to sleep. In that moment, we were so confused because she had never really done that before. In the end, a little skin-to-skin quiet was all she needed. All that to say, whatever happens, just try and remain calm and roll with the punches.” – Emily Hines, interview coming soon
11. If someone hasn’t told you today: You’re doing a good job.
When those meltdowns happen, it’s up to you to handle them—and truly, when you are playing with them, calming them down, engaging with your toddler…you’re doing a good job. It’s okay to take credit.
“On one trip to Boston when my oldest was 18 months, we got bumped to a different flight because of bad weather. My husband had to sit far away from me and the toddler, so I was on my own. As we were taking off, the President’s plane was about to leave D.C., so they did a ground stop at the airport. It was dinner time and in the rush to get on, we hadn’t eaten dinner yet, and now our flight was delayed even more. Our quick flight to Boston turned into a multi-hour ordeal and I spent the entire time trying everything I could to entertain her. It felt like I was coming up with a new game every two minutes.
When we finally landed, multiple people around me came up to me and told me how well-behaved of a kid she was. I thanked them, but I wanted to tell them, ‘My kid is great. But I deserve most of the credit for this one!’ I now always try to tell moms on planes that they are doing a great job taking care of little kids. It can be so hard and we don’t get enough credit!” – Kathryn Beard
Read more of Kathryn’s recs: The Activity to Always Put in the Toddler Itinerary
Thanks for being here.
My umbrella broke right after this.
One of the biggest pushbacks I hear from parents is that kids “won’t remember it” so why bother to go through all this effort for them? But I think travel isn’t just about seeing cool places or relaxing on the beach. It’s these pockets of resilience-building that you just don’t get at home for them or for you.
As scary as that moment in Bologna was, I think back now and am proud of myself for recognizing that we had to get the hell out of there and knowing we’d figure it out, even if we didn’t have phones to help us. A combination of rudimentary Italian and a very kind conductor helped us sort out what train we were on and how to transfer to get back to where we needed to go.
It’s that kind of confidence that I bring to traveling with my little one. Will there be blowouts, tantrums, and epic fails? Totally. But those are moments that make me a better parent, and a better person, too. And who knows…our scenic train ride ended up an absolutely gorgeous tour of the Italian countryside, once we knew where we were going. Soaring views, full bellies of bolognese, and train-bought chocolate made for a memorable afternoon.
Here’s to smooth sailing,
Kayla
If you liked this post, please consider supporting my work. I’m just a mom in the thick of the toddler years trying to create core memories for our whole family while minimizing meltdowns—I sincerely hope this helps you do the same.
This post was originally published on Travel with Toddlers. Subscribe for more real-talk travel advice, toddler-friendly itineraries, and tried-and-true gear recommendations.
