One of my least favorite parts of motherhood has been the “just waits.” You know them, you’ve heard them. But the worst one, for me, has been: “Just wait until you have more!” What do you even say to that? “Wow, thanks. So helpful!” 🙃
I think traveling with toddlers of any age, with any number, can be challenging. Which is exactly why my goal with this column is to include all kinds of voices on here—and that’s why I was excited to hear about Kaitlin Solimine’s travel advice. She’s a writer, podcast host (give it a listen, it’s great!), and mother to three children ages 2, 5, and 8.
Author and podcast host Kaitlin Solimine with her trusty carrier, our guest for this week’s issue.
Kaitlin Solimine on Travel with Toddlers
A boat ride in Amsterdam with three little ones in tow.
Here’s how Kaitlin approaches traveling with her little (and big) ones:
What’s your travel “style” before and after kids?
“I didn’t grow up traveling internationally, but once I lived in China for school as a teenager, I was hooked—my partner and I have been together over 20 years and we have always prioritized travel as well as living abroad. We travel with the kids internationally usually once a year and domestically 4-6 times a year, usually to visit family and friends.
Before having kids, I lived in Mainland China, Costa Rica, France, and Singapore and have traveled extensively around those regions.”
As an author, you hit the road very early on postpartum with your first baby. What is it like to bring your baby with you on a work trip?
“For my debut novel, I took my then-toddler (first child) with me on the entire book tour. It was quite a trip! We traveled up and down the west coast, to the east coast of the US, and to Europe, China, and Singapore for book festivals and events. She was still breastfeeding at the time, as well as co-sleeping, so there really wasn’t any other way I was going to be able to do the book tour and be a mother. I was grateful that every venue was open to her being in attendance (I even signed copies of my book with her nursing in my lap!)
My mother and partner traded traveling with me to these events and I am grateful for their support; that said, I did a few legs of these journeys on my own, like a 16-hour flight to Singapore alone with my toddler, and have the movie Zootopia and tablet games to thank.
My biggest advice for traveling with a young baby is to travel LIGHTLY and CARRY THEM on you. I always feel the struggle of new parents who are trodding through the airport under the burden of so many bags, car seats, strollers, and items.”
- Invest in a great baby carrier and plan to wear the baby on your front and either carry a backpack or bring a small roller suitcase.
- Plan to borrow a stroller at your location or pack a very small travel stroller. Bring a change of clothes for the baby on board—accidents happen—but either borrow things like car seats from a friend/family member or rent one via a car rental agency.
- We’ve checked ahead with hotels and AirBnBs for any strollers we could borrow too, as well as travel cribs. We have always bed-shared, which certainly makes travel a bit easier.
You travel with all three kids, which have a range of ages. How do you choose trips that cater to all three?
“I tend to seek travel spots that allow the older kids to enjoy some physical activities (like swimming, hiking, playing outdoors) while our youngest could be strapped to us in a carrier or explore safely with them. We seek destinations where we know there will be kid-friendly activities, like beach locations (always great with kids).
We also don’t overdo our plans – one big outing a day is plenty for kids at that age – and if we are staying in a home rental, we cook dinners at home or, I’ve found, there are even lots of delivery options available if you’re in a city — you can even get delivery to hotel rooms a lot of times, which can save from spending on expensive hotel restaurant meals.
My goal is to make travel an adventure, prepping the kids along the way with things like:
- We often give the children journals to take with them on big trips and they get excited to draw/write about the plans.
- We talk about the trip ahead of time and ask their input on activities they’d like to do. We buy a few new art/craft items to bring along as well, like water-based drawing boards, sticker activity books, etc.
- We limit screen time to flights and car rides that are longer than three hours and tablets are off-limits once we get to a destination so the kids don’t equate travel with endless screen time.
- We try to book city museums ahead of time, although I have to admit that we couldn’t even get into the Anne Frank museum when booking the day reservations opened 6 weeks ahead!
- We also talk about the language in the country where we will be traveling, as well as small (age-appropriate) amounts of history so the kids also have a context for where they are going. Hearing your four year old say “bonjour!” and “merci!” is quite adorable!”
Editor’s note: I love, love these prep ideas!! I’m totally stealing them for our next trip. Love the idea of a journal, even if they can’t read yet.
The top pieces of gear Kaitlin doesn’t leave home without…
“Hands down, a baby carrier. My personal favorites are Sakura Bloom, which are pricey but you can find second hand! As well as Didymos Wraps; and Boba or Tula for the structured carriers. And for toddlers, I highly recommend a ring sling—I carried my toddler all over Mainland China in the ring sling – it’s great as they can walk when they want and then you can just pop them on your hip when they’re tired!
I generally do NOT recommend strollers—they are pretty awful in most cities, especially European cities with cobblestone streets, and they’re similarly useless when hiking (I’ve found the best use for strollers are when toddlers fall asleep at a dinner). For breastfeeding parents, I also highly recommend the Haakaa breast pump as it’s super small and you can use it while traveling to catch additional milk and store in bags in the fridge.“
The best places to travel with toddlers…
“We’ve found that most countries outside the U.S. are actually MORE amenable to children and so all of their ages have been accommodated.
A recent trip to Amsterdam was wonderful for the kids—the museums all had children’s activities or sections (the Jewish History Museum had one of the BEST children’s sections I’ve ever seen!), there were playgrounds everywhere, and restaurants regularly had children’s activities (like their own pizza-making station at an Italian restaurant.) We stayed in a HomeExchange property where the host had kids, so there were tons of toys and even a playground in their garden. My only complaint was it was difficult to find helmets! Luckily our host had one, and helped us rent a cargo bike that fit all the kids and biked everywhere, and we even did a boat tour that they all loved.
We also went to Fiji last year and stayed at a resort (Nanuku) that had full-time nanny options for each child; that was pretty much the most luxurious vacation option for tired parents of three kids we’ve ever experienced and the children loved all the attention and activities. It’s a very child-friendly culture. A customs agent at the airport in Fiji when my children were running around the kiosk said, “Oh, they’re just lovely!” and I thought she was being sarcastic but she said, “I mean that! They’re children, as they should be!” How refreshing.
I have to say that I was surprised by how wonderful traveling to Iceland was. Walking around Reykjavik in the summer late at night was a magical adventure with kids who couldn’t believe the sun was still up at 11pm. We rented an incredible VRBO near the Golden Circle and the children loved all the various hot springs, hiking along waterfalls, and eating new cuisine. Icelandic pönnokökur are always a hit!”
And the best places to stay with little ones…
“In my younger years, I loved backpacking culture (I was a writer and editor for Let’s Go China) and staying in hostels or home stays. As I got older and a bit more finicky with travel comforts, I’ve preferred boutique eco-hotels (like the Cayuga Collection hotels in Central America) as well as home rentals.
After having kids, we love to stay in well-amenitized and centrally located VRBO or AirBnB rental properties. Yet sometimes, I’m loath to admit—the younger traveler in me would’ve hated this!—I love a good large beach resort with on-site children’s activities and easy-to-access restaurants. We also have been doing more home exchanges lately via HomeExchange and ThirdHome. These experiences have been wonderful! That said, we always seek eco-friendly options and resorts/hotels/homes that have a leaning toward sustainability and community engagement.”
Toddler parenting with a view.
“Outside of the recommendations above, we had the pleasure of attending a friend’s wedding in the Swiss alps, and this hotel in Sils-Maria (near St. Moritz) was a surprising delight in terms of family-centered activities. There were regular child-friendly activities like hikes and nature walks, as well as a huge outdoor playground near an outdoor restaurant and bar so the kids could play while we ate and drank. Nothing beats that! I also highly recommend looking at HomeExchange as an option to connect with other young families and have low-cost and kid-friendly travel opportunities in the U.S. and abroad!”
What’s your best travel memory so far?
“We were traveling to a friend’s wedding in Norway and our eldest, then a baby (9 months), was teething so we were up at all hours of the night, but then awoke to one of the most incredible views in my life. We were staying at a hotel on our bucket list, the Juvet Landscape Hotel in rural Norway. Seeing her crawl over to the window and look out into an incredible fjord Scandinavian landscape, and then walking outside with her on my hip into the cold autumn fog, is something I’ll never forget. I learned you can still appreciate those awe-inspiring moments in travel and also learn to see things through their eyes too.
At the same time, work travel with toddlers can also be inspiring: I was speaking on a panel at a bookstore in Suzhou, China when my toddler demanded to breastfeed. She climbed up onto my lap and I kept talking on the panel. Afterwards, a young Chinese student came over to tell me that she was really inspired by how I was both a writer and a mother in that moment—and how I was able to keep talking on the panel while also caregiving.
For me, hiding elements of our caregiving work doesn’t help to provide stronger family-centered workplace and social policies so I was buoyed that my public balancing act of caregiving and writing may expose the real underpinnings of what it looks like to be a mother these days, as well as hopefully provide deeper conversations and needed policy shifts to support caregivers not only in the workplace but also in the wider world, including while traveling!” ⚖️
Find a destination that suits the whole family, including you
Thank you so much, Kaitlin! I think as parents or caregivers it’s so easy to let burnout win, and to just go through with the motions because that’s all we have the energy for. And there are seasons of that, to be sure. But traveling with intention—whether it’s teaching children how to document their experiences, or building in downtime with meals even when you could cram in one more thing—is exactly what I hope to do when we go places, too.
I love the idea of choosing a place that works for everyone, and that includes the parents. When we go places each member of our family gets to pick one activity that the rest of the family does (or they go solo), something I learned from trips growing up with my own family. Our last big trip, my partner got a massage, I chose a high tea service, and my toddler chose “playing” volleyball on the beach. All great activities!
Thanks for being here.
The capriciousness of toddlers is well documented, yet it still throws me for a loop every time it happens. Sometimes they’re my little bestie buddy and we have the best time ever and sometimes I have to fireman’s carry my 40+ pound toddler over my shoulder all the way to the parking lot while they scream as if I’m kidnapping them. Yiiiikes. 🫠
Keeping calm in that kind of situation makes me feel like an action hero running from a fireball explosion in slow motion, trying to channel my best inner steel. Fight the guilt and questioning that comes with it after, especially when my toddler is their usual happy self again. What did I do wrong? Am I a terrible mother??
I know it’s just a moment, and we all have these moments. Even when you think you have it down, even when you’ve optimized for all kinds of variables (weather, food, location, naptime schedule, etc) sometimes, toddlers are just going to toddle.
To all the fitness instructors out there that give me the strength and confidence to haul heavy, squirmy weights around,
Kayla
If you liked this post, please consider supporting my work. I’m just a mom in the thick of the toddler years trying to create core memories for our whole family while minimizing meltdowns—I sincerely hope this helps you do the same.
This post was originally published on Travel with Toddlers. Subscribe for more real-talk travel advice, toddler-friendly itineraries, and tried-and-true gear recommendations.
