10 things I wish I had known before traveling with a baby

When my now-toddler was born, my parenting method came down to: Never stop moving.

I would shuffle up and down our little street for literally hours, because as long as we kept moving, they would stay calm, asleep, happy and burbling. My partner and I would take turns like some messed-up relay race, bringing each other water and power bars. (In hindsight, I should have just gotten some GU gels and leaned into it.)

The alternative was no sleep at all, a car nap…or a contact nap. I felt frantic trying to capture the summer weather before I’d be trapped inside all winter long1. So the stroller walks slowly turned into rail trail walks, or hikes, or just going anywhere so I wasn’t stuck in a relentless groundhog day of feed, change, sleep, repeat. That’s how I started traveling. By forcing myself out of the house even when it was uncomfortable and tiring and awful.

The first few trips felt so hard I wondered why I was torturing myself. But slowly, we all got better at traveling. Now, I’m proud of this honestly-unhinged attitude I took postpartum, because it’s made it easy for us to go all kinds of places. I made SO many mistakes at the beginning, like any new parent. I always ask anyone who comes on Travel with Toddlers to tell me the real talk about traveling with a baby because to me, in the moment, it felt so challenging I almost gave up.

I’m glad I didn’t.

Consider this collection of my favorite baby travel advice very take-it-or-leave it. It’s what resonated the most with me out of countless interviews with parents and caregivers, looking back:

10 pieces of travel advice I wish someone had told me before having a baby

So many well-meaning friends told me “Babies are portable!” when I first started out. I have to catch myself doing the same, though, because are they easier to travel with than toddlers? In many ways, yes. But for me? Oh, it felt so, so, so overwhelming and difficult at first. This advice is not going to make you feel guilty for needing time and space to figure it all out:

1. Prioritize a trip that helps you relax, rather than sightsee.

THIS is the biggest difference between travel before kids and after. Pre-kids me would never plop vacation, because I had to sit all day at work. Now: 100% I want to relax, and choose itineraries that facilitate that.

“Choose something easy for your first trip! Those first few months with a baby are so hard, and you really need to prioritize your own well-being and self-care. We chose to stay at an all-inclusive family-friendly resort in Crete so everything we needed was right there onsite. We ate mainly at the buffet restaurant, so my husband and I could easily take turns eating when our daughter got fussy. I also made sure to book myself a few spa treatments so it wasn’t just all about childcare in a different location!” – Tanja from Almost Finnished (interview coming soon!)

It doesn’t have to be an all-inclusive for it to be relaxing. What matters more is the amenities a property or rental offers:

“Book something with a safe sleep environment where you can just relax and work around the baby’s nap schedule. We did not want to do anything super ambitious but we did want to get out of the house, so a trip to a cabin was perfect because it allowed us to get outside and take walks in a new environment, and get comfortable with travel, but the stakes were low.” – Julie Bogen (interview coming soon!)

2. Keep your expectations low.

Travel is going to be different. You’re going to be t i r e d in a new way. Give yourself a little grace. The point is to do something different, not necessarily to live it up.

“Keep low expectations and do what you can to set your child up for success. That might mean factoring in an afternoon nap at the hotel every afternoon, or driving somewhere nearby instead of adding a change in time zone, or opting for a place rich with playgrounds instead of going somewhere overstimulating.

We were traveling to Florida to visit my parents, who live in Tampa, and I was considering bringing Jack to Disney for the day. But I thought about it and realized I would be doing it for my own memories of him (and also I would be overwhelmed by it, truthfully) and that he would have even more fun driving four minutes down the road to a splash pad. We went to the splash pad multiple times and he had the time of his LIFE—plus it was free and we made it home in time every day in time for lunch and a nap!” – Carly Riordan

3. It’s okay to drift off schedule on vacation.

This was so hard for me. I’m still very routine oriented, for myself (hello, Type A!) and for my toddler. I wish someone had given me this gentle advice at the beginning.

I hired a sleep coach when my oldest was a baby and an impossible sleeper. We brought him to bed with us on a trip after working tirelessly, literally, to get him to sleep alone. When I told her, she said what happens on vacation stays on vacation. Reset and go back to your normal routines when you get back home. I’ve carried this advice with me through all the phases of my kids’ childhood. – Rachel Lipson | The Point

Read more of Rachel’s recs here: How to Travel with a Baby on Points and Miles

Naps on the go can be trained. Stroller and carrier can do a lot of heavy lifting. (I will never forget an incredible meal on vacation when my then-baby did their third nap of the day. They woke up just as we got the check.

I know this doesn’t work for every family, but try to be flexible with schedules. We never had a strict sleep schedule or bedtime routine, and it took pressure off and (I think) helped create a kid who can sleep in any kind of environment. Plus, naps on the go are when parents can enjoy nice meals or get some work done. – Rebecca Holland (interview coming soon!!)

4. …but timing your travel around the nap schedule can help a lot.

That said, you don’t want to throw your schedule out the window. Using the nap schedule to plan your literal travel, either roadtripping or airplane or whatever, can help make things easier. (I know some parents who swear by the post-bedtime roadtrip, but I’m too tired to do that one!)

“One of my biggest travel hacks is scheduling flights around sleep—when possible, I opt for early flights, knowing that once we’re on the plane, my son is likely to fall asleep. Breastfeeding made this stage much easier, and as we transitioned away from it around age two, we leaned heavily on snacks—always having options and variety on hand.” – Kelly-Ann Smith (interview coming soon!)

5. It’s the stuff, not the baby, that makes it feel hard.

The baby isn’t the problem, the amount of stuff is!

“A big shock after having my first baby was just how much more stuff we needed to travel with. My best advice is to find ways to minimize the sheer amount of stuff. Thoughtful packing lists, buying items on location, and renting or borrowing baby gear go a long way in improving the experience of traveling with babies.” – Amanda Kellner Klein

Read more of Amanda’s recs here: The Days Are Long and The Years Are Short

Borrow or rent as much as you can when you arrive at your destination. It’s one of the things that makes or breaks a trip for me, IMO—and one of the reasons I like hotels/resorts that will provide more baby amenities so I don’t have to haul my own.

“My biggest advice for traveling with a young baby is to travel LIGHTLY and CARRY THEM on you. I always feel the struggle of new parents who are trodding through the airport under the burden of so many bags, car seats, strollers, and items.

Invest in a great baby carrier and plan to wear the baby on your front and either carry a backpack or bring a small roller suitcase.

Plan to borrow a stroller at your location or pack a very small travel stroller. Bring a change of clothes for the baby on board—accidents happen—but either borrow things like car seats from a friend/family member or rent one via a car rental agency.

We’ve checked ahead with hotels and AirBnBs for any strollers we could borrow too, as well as travel cribs. – Kaitlin Solimine

6. Get them their own seat on a plane.

Everything is so expensive that it can seem like a good idea to take the cheaper option. But there’s a steep cost to doing so…I’ve never done the lap baby (thank goodness for points!!). I actually hate flying, so for me, flights are hard enough!

“Do not fall for the “free seat” fallacy if you’re flying long haul. Sure, if your baby is less than six months old, you can probably use the in-flight bassinet — but only if you’re lucky enough to be allocated it. (Take it from me that there’s no guarantee of that!) But keep in mind those bassinets are tiny. If your baby is a healthy size, or over the age of six months, they are probably not going to fit in it. Which means you will be carrying that baby on your body for the entire flight. This can be way more exhausting than it sounds, especially if your baby doesn’t sleep or is active and wants to move around. So think carefully about whether you want to do that, and possibly buy the extra to make your life much easier and your flight more comfortable.” – Rosie Spinks

Read more of Rosie’s recs here: It Takes A Village to Travel with Toddlers

7. Always bring a back-up outfit for you and for baby.

A little practical advice. I learned this the hard way…this rite of passage for new parents is not a necessary one!

“Our first trip was flying coast to coast for a friend’s wedding when my oldest was just 3 months old. Let’s just say it was humbling! I learned quickly that a backup outfit in the diaper bag should also include one for the adults. One diaper blowout taught me that the hard way.” – Christin from Elevate Toddler Play

8. Your baby will cry in public. It’s going to be okay.

As a recovering people pleaser perfectionist eldest daughter, this is still something that’s hard for me. Feeling the hot stares of everyone around you when your baby is crying or your toddler is having a meltdown is, for me, the absolute hardest part of traveling. But it’s gonna happen whether you care too much or not.

“For our first trip, I was so nervous about pissing people off if my daughter cried on such a long flight. But in reality, most people were nice and helpful. One woman watched all my stuff while I did a diaper change. Another one offered to take a picture of me because she was so impressed I was traveling alone with an infant and a bunch of stuff. She said, ‘I need to take your picture next to your full stroller because you’ll want to remember you survived a 6-hour layover and did it well.’ That really stuck with me because it feels overwhelming thinking about everything you need and packing, but once you’re on the way, you’re doing it. Babies cry, have blowouts, etc, but you get through it, and at the end of the day, you’ll likely never see any of these people again. So, try and relax and enjoy yourself. – Emily Hines (interview coming soon!)

The more you can stay calm, the easier it will be to calm your baby.

“Things will go wrong, things will take longer than you think they should. And remember that your kids have a right to exist in spaces as kids. I think often in the U.S., people expect children to behave as little adults and it puts a lot of pressure on kids and parents.” – Bridget Shirvell (interview coming soon!!)

9. Babies are more adaptable than you think.

This took months for me to learn. Every time we missed a nap window, or were late on a feed, or I forgot to bring a key item2, I got to learn this the hard way. Your baby will surprise you, or at least mine did!

“With a baby, don’t overthink it too much. Of course every child is different, and you know your own child, but they are so adaptable, and they surprise us all the time. Anytime our son slept in a new location, or met someone new, he just rolled with it. If traveling is something that is important to you, then you can do it. You’ll start to see when it’s worth it and when it’s not. Because I have family out of state, travel is something we have to do regularly, and it’s important.” – Aliza Sir from Platonic Love

10. Everybody is right: Just do it.

Yes, you really should just try it. It will be hard! It will be uncomfortable! But in the end, you’ll be glad you did.

“Travel as much as you can in the first year! And especially the first 9 months. It’s easy! Don’t stress over it. They are along for the ride.” – Christina Haisfield

Overall, with both of my kids I found the first year to be a lot easier than later on. The first time we were on a plane with her was at six months. We went to Tenerife, in the Canary Islands, and Germany. Traveling with your baby is still a lot of work, but there’s a lot you can still do with a baby strapped to your body. We went on a ton of hikes and she got really good at going to sleep next to the dinner table. – Matthew Buccelli

“Get out there and do it! This is a very “easy” time to travel with a little one and it is such a unique period that goes by so quickly. The experience that you have when your child is a baby will be so different from what is to come as they grow older.” – Miss Adventure (interview coming soon!!)

Thanks for being here.

My first “hike” lasted less than a mile but we did it!

It’s funny because looking back, I want to tell myself: See how easy this is? Just strap them in and you can go anywhere! Why didn’t we go to Europe???

But when you’re in the thick of postpartum fog, still healing, still bleeding, still round-the-clock feeding, that advice feels laughable. I’m proud of myself for getting out to the library, for signing up for Mommy-and-me swim lessons, for walking our local trails. Traveling with a baby is definitely easier than with a toddler, but it’s also a lot more work and if you’re used to travel feeling like a vacation, it can feel like a letdown.

Toddlers are more demanding, sure. But you get so much more out of a trip. “Remember when we…” or “Can I go back to [destination]?”…or “Let’s look at pictures from our trip, mama!” It’s so special to see the gears whir in their brain when things click together about how the world works, or when very nice pilots let your kid up front to see the cockpit, or when Spider-man gives them a high-five and they are GLOWING after. None of that can happen without getting out and doing it, again and again, even when it’s uncomfortable.

It’s a muscle, and you got this,

Kayla

If you liked this post, please consider supporting my work. I’m just a mom in the thick of the toddler years trying to create core memories for our whole family while minimizing meltdowns—I sincerely hope this helps you do the same.

This post was originally published on Travel with Toddlers. Subscribe for more real-talk travel advice, toddler-friendly itineraries, and tried-and-true gear recommendations.

10 things I wish I had known before traveling with a baby

From parents and caregivers who have been through blowouts, breastfeeding, and more