I’ve been following Carly Riordan, today’s guest, since the halcyon days of tumblr, big scarves, and knee-high boots in the 2010s. This full-time mom, part-time influencer has been creating content on the Internet since 2008! She’s one of the few bloggers that I still follow, all these years later, now that I’ve traded my college uniform for a playground one.
Carly with her oldest in Nantucket.
Her oldest son, Jack (3) is a few months older than my toddler. I was just a few weeks postpartum when I read this post about her parenting philosophy and it’s stuck with me since then. The whole post about turning a joke about being a chill mom into a mantra is worth a read, but this quote in particular helps me on a regular basis, and especially when I’m stressing out on a flight/long car ride/in an unfamiliar place:
When things go wrong; when there’s dirt and paint and scrambled eggs and crumbs (oh my god so many crumbs) everywhere, when he’s falling asleep off schedule or ahead of schedule or behind schedule… I inflate lungs with air, I release the air and relinquish control, and remind myself (sometimes through gritted teeth), “I’m a chill mom.”
I try to bring this spirit of being a “chill mom” with me (like Carly, I am absolutely 100% not a chill person, but I’m working on it!) whenever I leave the house, especially as a recovering people pleaser. Nothing more triggering than having your child yell as loud as they can in a public place, no? Especially when you’re somewhere you’ve never been.
Carly Riordan on Travel with Toddlers
The reason I wanted to chat with Carly for this piece, though, is because she’s not a travel influencer. She’s not taking her kids (Jack, age 3, and Rory, 8 months) on a solo trip around the world or flying halfway across the country every other week. They’re doing the same kind of things we do on a regular basis in her hometown of Madison, NJ—daycare, playgrounds, farms, fun outings, with travel as something to look forward to.
Here’s how she approaches travel with a “chill mom” mindset:
How has your travel “style” changed before and after having kids?
“We do travel quite a bit, but not huge elaborate trips. I’m more of a “return to the same favorite places over and over again” kind of traveler. I really am a homebody and prefer being home or traveling to places that feel like home!”
Tell me about the first trip you took after you had your first.
“We went to my in-laws’ vacation home down the shore when Jack was two weeks old. It felt crazy at the time, but bringing Jack there was important to my husband so we did it. Looking back, I don’t know that I would do it again, less so because we had a baby and more that I was personally still trying to figure out breastfeeding and recovering from birthing a baby for the first time! But it was good to just…go. The bright side is that everything else felt easy after that!”
Traveling with babies and toddlers means you have to keep your expectations low.
“Keep low expectations and do what you can to set your child up for success. That might mean factoring in an afternoon nap at the hotel every afternoon, or driving somewhere nearby instead of adding a change in time zone, or opting for a place rich with playgrounds instead of going somewhere overstimulating.
We were traveling to Florida to visit my parents, who live in Tampa, and I was considering bringing Jack to Disney for the day. But I thought about it and realized I would be doing it for my own memories of him (and also I would be overwhelmed by it, truthfully) and that he would have even more fun driving four minutes down the road to a splash pad. We went to the splash pad multiple times and he had the time of his LIFE—plus it was free and we made it home in time every day in time for lunch and a nap! [Editor’s note: This is such a smart decision! Even as a big Disney person myself, you can’t do too much. That’s one of the biggest pieces of advice I give to people thinking about adding on a Disney stop with little ones.]
A few other pieces of advice I’ve learned:
- If you’re traveling by plane, splurge and get the baby his own seat.
- For a hotel, the key is to get a suite (so you and your partner can have your own space when they go to bed)
- For rentals or Airbnbs, double check that they are safe enough for small children (fenced off or no pools, stairs that are safe, etc.).”
Traveling with toddlers isn’t always easy. What was a travel hiccup you experienced and how did you recover?
“One summer, it was so hot and we were staying in a house with no air conditioning. I was breastfeeding and just feeling horrible myself and the baby was feeling horrible. At 11pm one night, we couldn’t sleep, the baby was crying and I started packing everything up to make the five hour drive home in the middle of the night.
My husband talked me off the ledge eventually convincing me it wasn’t safe to drive in the middle of the night. I had the pack n’ play all closed and packed up and everything!” [Editor’s note: OMG, I have been there!!]
One of the hardest parts of traveling as a mom is figuring out what to wear. As someone more “into” fashion, what do you recommend?
“I keep things simple! In the summer, I will wear comfortable jeans that won’t show stains and that I can move around in (and I need pockets while I’m traveling with kids to have quick access to my phone and whatever else), a lightweight t-shirt, and a cardigan.
I actually try to not care what I look like and more go for function over fashion. Can I move freely (squat down to pick something up, baby carry, lift a bag over my head)? Will it stay wrinkle free? Will stains show easily? How will I feel if it’s really hot on the plane or really cold?”
Any go-to travel outfits for babies or toddlers on trips?
“We really lean into uniforms for our kids. For babies, I keep them in a dark colored footed pajama (everything is covered and stains won’t show easily and there’s no need to chase down socks that fall off). For Jack, we do comfy sneakers, comfy pants, a plain tee, and a dark colored sweatshirt or sweater.”
Tell me about a great travel memory with your kids.
“We took Jack to Harbour Island in the Bahamas when he was a baby and we had the BEST time. We stayed in a friends’ house so we had a lot of space and everyone there was just so friendly. He was old enough to make my husband and I feel like had a good grasp on parenthood. We went to the beach, swam in the pool, went out for dinner every night. It was just so lovely and relaxing, even with a crawling baby!”
Harbour Island is just too pretty!
The best destination to travel with babies and toddlers is…
Nantucket. Once you get there, is a great place to go with kids! It can be tricky to set up all the logistics of travel (lodging, car rentals, flights/ferries to the island, etc.) but there are so many fun and low key things to do with kids.
Nantucket is on my bucket list—can you believe I live in New England and have never been? What a cute spot!
What is it like transitioning from traveling with one kid to two?
We traveled with both kids when Rory was six weeks old. Again, I kept expectations on the floor and it was honestly not as bad as I expected. The biggest tip I have is to run through the travel day in your head and visualize every step along the way. Don’t overpack, keep things as simple as possible, and try your best to set your whole family up for success. ⚓️
Channel your inner chill mom
Thank you, Carly! I am really wishing for the beach right now after looking through those travel photos. Ugh, those hydrangeas! I’m already thinking about where to go for spring break, so the Bahamas just went to the top of the list.
I am a Type A planner, so traveling with a toddler naturally completely messes with my psyche. This is a great reminder to take a deep breath when we’re not doing The Plan, because otherwise you’ll miss the magic that you are experiencing. (And if it’s a meltdown, a deep breath will help anyway.)
Thanks for being here.
Thanks for reading! If you liked this issue, definitely check out Carly on Instagram or her blog—it’s not travel content per se, but I find her style and parenting philosophy to be a breath of fresh air in these Very Online days. This year, Thanksgiving is a few weeks later, so we’re squeezing in one more fall trip before the holiday travel really begins. My brain is already on to spring break and how to beat the winter blues, so if anyone has any great warm weather toddler-friendly trips, let me know in the comments.
Thanks,
Kayla
If you liked this post, please consider supporting my work. I’m just a mom in the thick of the toddler years trying to create core memories for our whole family while minimizing meltdowns—I sincerely hope this helps you do the same.
This post was originally published on Travel with Toddlers. Subscribe for more real-talk travel advice, toddler-friendly itineraries, and tried-and-true gear recommendations.
